Dying to Yourself

Text: Matthew 16:24-27

Dying to yourself is something that we Christians may find hard to do. In this world where there is pressure on all sides to replace the love of God for something lesser, to die to oneself is something that most, if not all of us, may be averse to doing. In the world of instant gratification, getting things on credit, and getting what you want right here, right now, dying to oneself is a concept that is anathema to most. And yet this is one thing that Jesus had always been teaching us to do.

As Jesus said,

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.” (Matthew 16:24-25)

Warm-up Questions:

What is the one thing that you would find hard to give away?
Is there anyone or anything in your life that you would find hard to let go of?


Dying to Yourself

Reasons Why We Need to Die to Ourselves

We, as humans, have the unavoidable tendency to seek our will above anyone else’s. We always want our way, and whether we realize it or not, there is a tendency for us to see things from our point of view, and to define the world by how we see it. Though most people would deny their own self-centeredness, man is by nature self-centered and self-interested. We are, by no means, born good. Our fall had stemmed by joining Satan in striving to be like God (Genesis 3:5), and thus, a lot of the aspects of pride, that which felled him, is in us, in the following forms:

1) Self-centeredness.
2) Self-interest.
3) Self-absorption.
4) Vanity.
5) False humility.

Pride, which is wholly abhorrent to God, is what keeps us from receiving His love. When we are too full of ourselves, we start to think that we no longer need God. We would then chase after other lovers, in an effort to please ourselves, which is actually idolatry, without the overt idols.

What are our modern-day idols?

1) A relationship that is abhorrent to God because we love that person more than we love God.
2) A striving for material wealth that supersedes our love for God because we no longer trust Him as Lord, Savior, and Provider.
3) The need to please people.
4) The need to take care of, give help to, or provide charity to people for selfish motives.
5) Anything else in our “universe” that dethrones God from our hearts.

We need to die to ourselves, because in our sinful human frailty, there is only one tendency for man: to glorify himself over God.

But what if you have no self-esteem to speak of, and you actually hate your life?

It is also a form of pride, to be honest with you. Anything that makes you self-absorbed, whether it is a bloated ego, or the reverse of it: a self-worth black hole, anything that exalts itself over God is idolatrous; anything inside yourself that makes you focus only on yourself: whether achievements or inadequacies, is a form of pride and is absolutely abhorrent to God.

On the other hand, when you are focused on another object of your heart’s affections, when your eyes not wholly focused on God for a reason outside yourself, it is a form of idolatry.

Again, the two things that keep us from God and the two main reasons why we need to die to ourselves are:

1) Pride.
2) Idolatry.

How to die to ourselves.

When we choose to die to ourselves, we choose to crucify our old selves with Jesus, for Him to increase within us and increasingly show Himself through our lives. (John 3:30)

When we choose to die to ourselves, to set aside our pride in order for Jesus to work more thoroughly in us and to allow the Holy Spirit to show His fruit in our lives, we get the added benefit of gaining more peace, an increasing freedom, and that unearthly calm that radiates even through the storms of life.

1) Dying to oneself does not entail sacrifice. Though it may seem like it, it actually entails more of seeking then obeying God’s will, over our own. (Psalm 40:6,8, Isaiah 1:18-20, Hosea 6:6)

2) Dying to oneself entails being motivated by love, above all. You can obey God out of fear and though you obeyed, if you are not motivated by love for Him, it will not have life-giving and lasting results. Instead, strive to obey God because you love Him and do not want to hurt Him. He actually feels the pain when He allows you to reap the consequences of your sin. Choose to obey Him because you love Him, and not because you want to avoid the pain.

3) Dying to yourself entails choosing mercy. Even when that taxi driver cut you off and left you steaming in anger, choose to be merciful. Not just because it’s the right thing to do, but also so that you won’t keep yourself stuck in a wormhole of anger and bitterness. Choose to forgive, choose to give mercy, as you were also pardoned on the Cross. (Leviticus 19:18, Leviticus 19:34, Matthew 7:12, Luke 6:27-36)

It is not an easy walk, this dying to self business. Rather, since you would be embracing ethics that are not your own (Jesus’), you would be in for a fight at times, when you would choose your will over God’s. But do try to make things easier for both of you, but more for you than Him: surrender to His will, surrender to His call for you to die to yourself, it is as easy as, “Yes, Lord, I will follow.”

He will make you able to follow Him, for His grace is sufficient for you. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Questions for Discussion:
What areas of your life do you feel you should submit more to God?
Are you willing to give these up for Jesus?

Assignment:
In your quiet moments, talk to God, and tell Him to show you areas in your life which you need to submit. If you feel like you are “not ready yet,” banish the thought from your mind, and even if it pains you to admit to God, ask Him to make you able to surrender to Him. He will deliver, and He will surely deliver you from your grasping at your pride and your pet idols.

Take the example of the father, whose child was afflicted with demons. When Jesus pointed out that he did not believe that Jesus could heal his son, he exclaimed, in desperation, for Jesus to help him believe. In like manner, since we know we can never, and won’t ever want to give up our own idols if left to our own devices, thus we should cry out to God to help our unbelief, or in this case, to help us surrender. He will surely deliver. Deliver us from ourselves. (Mark 9:24)

References:

Pride, God’s abhorrence of: Isaiah 13:11, Jeremiah 13:9, Jeremiah 13:17, Proverbs 16:18
Heart, Deceitful: Jeremiah 17:9, Matthew 12:34
Mercy: Matthew 9:13, Matthew 12:7, Luke 1: 5,8, Ephesians 2:4, 1 Peter.1:3, Luke 6:36