Just an update: I'm still alive. I was just busy running around trying to make a living and trying to find a source of living. I finally got tired of twisting people's arms to get what I want. I forgot that the weapons with which we face the battles we slug on throughout our lives isn't similar, AT ALL, to the way things are fought in literal battles.
If an enemy throws you a stone, throw him back a piece of bread... In love.
What took me so long to learn that?
What took me so long to learn that deception, suspicion, etc., fear, are not the weapons I should fight with? What took me so long to realize that I have to obey God and be like Him: react like Him in every which way I could muster? And even then, I could only react like Him when He ENABLES me to..
What took me so long to shed my ego?
What took me so long to stop performing?
I asked the Lord before whether any of these pains I bore were in vain. He told me that not one of these pains were wasted.
It took me a while to realize why He said that none of my pains and travails were wasted...
Right now I realize: that my pains were dealt me in order to glorify Him.
In my wounds and my recovery from them, He is most glorified. Because I had not overcome on my own. He carried me. He healed me. Changed my heart of stone into flesh.
From my scars, people can learn and realize that someone else went through these things too.
Thank You, Lord that You didn't let me go through what I could not bear. But thank You that every single thing that ailed me, that pained me... You will use all of them.
Thank You, Father, that You are turning me more like Your Son, perfect in every way.
Each overcoming, each moment that I get driven closer to being like the Lord is such pain for me, because His character is so unlike mine. In moments of calm like this... I appreciate having been born.
LOVE YOU LORD!!!
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